You have to...HAND IT to my opponent. Eh? Get it? I &apos m sorry, sometimes my jokes are a little strange because I was a POW and a war hero.

You have to...HAND IT to my opponent. Eh? Get it? I'm sorry, sometimes my jokes are a little strange because I was a POW and a war hero.

This Tuesday saw the second meeting between Senators Barack Obama and John McCain, the respective Democratic and Republican nominees for the American presidency. The debate was a “town hall” format, in quotes because it wasn’t really a town hall format, hosted by Tom Brokaw, the most passive-aggressive journalist anyone could find. The modern debate has become another forum for political candidates to spin the truth in their favor; and while there are other, far-better qualified websites for this sort of thing, I thought I would do you, my readers, a public service, and help you sort out the facts from the spin in Tuesday’s debate.

  • Obama stated that the Iraqi government has a $79 billion surplus. This number is outdated, and estimates place the true Iraq budget surplus for 2008 between $38 and $51 billion, a far cry from $79 billion.
  • McCain erroneously claimed that 1.3 million people make a living from eBay. The actual figure is 724,000, and many of them do not rely on eBay as a primary source of income.
  • Obama claimed McCain was only interested in helping out Wall Street, not Main Street. In fact, McCain’s website details his plans for not only helping out Main Street, but also Elm Street, Sycamore Lane, Cedar Road, Washington Avenue, all of 1st through 38th Streets, the Northwest block of Royal and Park, and the “East side of town.”
  • McCain said that while the economy is going up in flames, Obama said, “We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn.” Obama never made such a statement; McCain is confusing him with Rock Master Scott & The Dynamic Three.
  • McCain declared his opponent had shown nothing but contempt for ordinary, working-class Americans. In reality, Obama has never shown anything deeper than detached bemusement or mild disdain for the working class.
  • Obama made reference to his opponent’s well-known temper when he said, “Well, I’ve never punched a kitten, either.” There is no record of McCain ever punching a kitten; the incident Obama is referring to happened with a puppy, and in fact, McCain kicked the puppy instead of punching it.
  • McCain repeatedly addressed everyone in the audience as “My friends.” Apart from his wife (who was in attendance), the only person McCain actually knew in the audience was the woman in the floral skirt on the front row who wasn’t paying attention. And she later told CNN that she really considered McCain to be “more of an acquaintance.”
  • Obama claimed that all we needed to do to solve this country’s problems was put aside our differences, and work together to create a better country for all of us. This has never been accomplished in the entire history of our country, ever.